Before going away for the weekend- I "hit the gym" for my second strength training session of the week. I acknowledged the rather critical messages I was sending myself, " everyone at this gym is so further ahead of me" "What am I doing? Using machines and not free-weights? Really Scott." The messages that were tumbling through my head were things I would never say to someone else- why are we so hard on ourselves? Or, it is just me and I am just hard on myself..
When I was changing, I looked in the mirror and saw how out of shape I was. I wondered if this was a physical representation of my mental illness. Emotional eating with the loss of energy that comes with depression, were a one-two punch on my physical health. Some mention that mental illness is an invisible "illness"- perhaps the weight gain was the "cast" that we would put on a broken wrist. In a sense this was validation that I had been through a tough patch.
Over the weekend I completed my "long run." My partner encouraged me to go beyond the 5k I thought I could complete. Together we ran 6k in 41minutes- my partner ran in front of me and looped back to encourage me to keep going. In the end, I was amazed that I chugged a long for that long. After the run, I was amazed with how good I felt. My sometimes wild emotions were relatively tamed and I was reminded with the increased ability to hold my attention to a task; I didn't feel nearly as scattered.
For this week- I will build on the momentum I've generated. For me, the hardest part was starting- I've got the ball rolling! I have to remind myself to take micro steps- I don't want this "zest" to lead to injury.
Training Goals:
Mon- Rest
Tuesday- 5k
Wednesday- Increase weight by 5 pounds
Thursday- 5K
Friday- 3K
Saturday- Lift same weight at Tuesday
Sunday- Run 7k
Keep up the good work my friend !
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